MICROWAVE PIZZA for 1 couch potato:

corn meal, garlic powder and oregano onto a PIZZA STONE or microwave dish - (when preferred, wipe extra virgin olive oil onto the bottom crust of the still frozen pizza);
• place the frozen pizza (right side up) onto the stone or dish;
• sprinkle some more garlic and italian seasoning on it before adding the following diced, sliced or whole extras;
• garlic (fresh), jalapenos, mushrooms, olives, onions, pepperoni, sausage, tomato;
• lastly, place thin strips of cheddar cheese on top of it all;
• cook for 4 ~ 6 minutes on the stone in the larger 1100 watt oven (this larger oven was bought solely and specifically to hold the 13 inch pizza stone); smaller pizzas in smaller ovens can be cooked all at once for 5+ minutes in the 500~700 watt ovens;
• let sit outside the oven for a few minutes; (this is when the same oven is used to heat water for my daily cup of 'senior' green tea);
• if needed, insert and re-heat the stoned pizza in the oven for another 2 ~ 3 minutes;
• let sit outside the oven for a few minutes - then eat and enjoy.  The stone keeps the pizza hot - I've hardly ever eaten them slow enough to experience the crust getting harder as it continues cooking on the hot stone.

STONED OVEN PIZZA for 2 normal (hah!) adults:

Hand beat (50x) the following until it looks good and Italian:   (Doing it by hand gives you the exercise you need for that hour of the day.)

• 1 Chef Boyardee Pizza Crust Mix (from a 13.5oz box);
• 1 Tbspn(+-) oregano mixed into the dry crust mix;
• 1 Tbspn olive oil (100% pure; no cholesterol or salt);
• 1/2 cup warm water (or whatever's called for on the box);

  next, prepare the stone by mixing

• 1/8 tspn garlic powder with
• enough olive oil to cover the stone; and then sprinkle
• 1 tspn+- of corn meal over the entire surface; (The corn meal, having a relatively neutral flavor, acts as miniature ball bearings to keep the pizza dough from sticking to the stone.  That's what helped make the ham rolls so good in Milwaukee back in the 1950s!)

  toss (for those with that skill) or spread, with already ingredient flavored hands (my preferred method), the dough over the entire stone surface; curl a little at the edges to keep whatever sauce you're using from dripping over the edge; (Theodore Kyriakou's Tomato Sauce recipes)

  optionally pre-cook the dough at 425~475 degrees for 3 minutes to stiffen the crust and place the sauce you made or from the

• Chef Boyardee Pizza sauce can (same 13.5oz box) on the dough and then carefully place the

• jalapeños, mushrooms, olives, , etc. onto the sauce before the
• italian sausage, pepperoni and other meats - just before the cheese; (You never know when someone impressive might drop by to inspect your pizza, so make sure it always looks good and Italian.)

  optionally cook (still at 425~475 degrees) everything but the cheese, and possibly the mushrooms when you're having problems with them, for 8~12 minutes; before finally adding enough

• shredded Mozzarella/Provolone cheese blend and, optionally, some
• shredded mild cheddar cheese over everything else; (The darkened color of the yellow cheddar can help determine when YOUR oven has finished its job.  Since the oven size, pizza stone/metal pan thickness, amount of sauce and other ingredients all affect the amount of time it takes to cook, you must determine your own optimal times.  Use those shown here as guidelines.)

cook the newly added cheese and everything else the final 4~6 minutes.

Remove the stone and place it atop a hot pad.  The stone continues cooking the crust while keeping everything hot for an additional 30 minutes or so.  [ 1/15/2009 update:  I sold my last oven in 1991 but do remember that there never was a piece left atop a pizza stone long enough to ever get cold - when alone or during a pizza party with up to a dozen guests. ]

500 watt MICROWAVE POPCORN:

Before placing the bag in the smaller microwave, fold both ends over so they don't freeze the bag on top of the rotating platform.  The bag must rotate in order to keep the heat evenly distributed in order to pop the maximum amount of kernals.

If not already salty enough, even after shaking inside the pre-salted bag, add Jolly Time Instant Buttery Seasoning (imitation buttery flavor).

  Other sites:      KennysCajunCorn     PopcornFork     PopcornLovers

STOVE POPCORN:

1. Bathe, but don't drown the golden kernels of corn with CORN oil in a thick metal pan.  Shake them once every 20 seconds or so until they begin popping.

2. Once popping has begun, shake the pan every few seconds to keep the heavier unpopped kernals on the bottom of the pan.  If necessary empty some popped corn from the pan to make room for more popping kernals.  (Keep the paper bag holding the popped corn closed to contain the heat until you're ready to salt and/or eat it.)

3. Empty the popped corn into a large paper grocery bag for more efficient salting.

4. Salt the popped corn in the bag, shaking it between saltings to evenly distribute the salt to your taste.

Microwave Tacos:

• 2 corn meal tortillas - (local are usually best - white for fish tacos)
• ground round seasoned to taste and thoroughly cooked
  or unheated chunk salmon from the can
• corn meal (for the bottom of the tortilla heating dish)
• one-half lettuce leaf per taco
• cheese (cheddar and/or romano for both - cheddar for fish)
  THESE ARE LISTED IN THEIR ORDER OF PREPARATION ON A CUTTING BOARD
• *kale (good for the eyesight & us seniors)
• *fresh cilantro
• *lettuce
• *Italian seasoning (sprinkle to taste)
  [ Place a small section of lettuce over the kale & cilantro to hold it all in place while dicing it all at once - then sprinkle Italian seasoning over it all before or after dicing and adding the following. ]
• *onion slice (yellow, white or ???)
• *tomato slice (big boy, beefstake, italian or ???)
• *tomatillo slice
• *garlic section (or powder to taste)
• *jalapeno (or other hot seasoning - jalapeno juice serves as a slippery base for slicing, dicing and slipping the avocados atop the rest - a tablespoon or two of jalapeno juice atop it all doesn't hurt)
• *'diced' avocado [ 1/2 ~ 1/8th section to taste for fish or meat tacos - a secret here is to dice avocado into small chunks that don't become mush when mixed with the rest but aren't so large as to drown out the flavours of the other ingredients AND to do so as close to the consumption process as possible ]
  *these can all be mixed together fresh on a cutting board - dicing & slicing just before eating enhances the flavor but preparing the jalapenos, onions, and tomatoes into a 'several days lasting' batch of salsa is an alternative (albeit not as tasty for lack of freshness) shortcut
• optional cajun seasoning [ sprinkle to taste Nov'03: Tone's Louisiana Style - this was too spicy for my prostate ]
• optional taco seasoning (sprinkle to taste)
• extra virgin olive oil on top of everything
  
• microwave ready heating plate (like those that come with expensive TV dinners) or
     a 1.5 ~ 2.5 inch deep microwave/oven baking dish (CorningWare or ???) is another alternative.
• tortilla drying dishes of any type (or reuse the heating dish as described below)

Secrets:

     oven wattage          one tortilla  two tortillas
     ------------          ------------  -------------
       500                  55 seconds    82 seconds
       700                  45 seconds?   60 seconds?
      1100                  30 seconds    40 seconds

4. Finally, make it a taco by placing the mix of ingredients and olive oil atop the lettuce, fold and enjoy.  [ Folding one end of the lettuce will help keep the contents from falling out. ]

 

Salmon Tacos: Replace the meat with fish of your choice and prepare the microwave way.

Tuna Casserole:
(My grandmother's ancient meatless Fridays dinner.)  The ingredients are pictured.  Place chips atop mushroom soup atop peas atop optional, unshown chopped onions atop sprinkling of chopped tarragon leaves atop tuna.  Heat 5 minutes in 500 watt microwave, let stand add more chips or not and heat another 2 minutes.

For Real Mexican Tacos:

• corn meal tortillas (fresh baked local are usually best)
• corn oil
• ground round seasoned (for several hours) with
• one small garlic clove kneaded into each pound of meat
• sliced shredded lettuce
• cheese (cheddar and romano)
• diced tomatoes (big boy, beefstake or ???)
• onions (yellow, white or ???)
• hot sauce (Tabasco, Red Hot or home made with real jalapenos)
  
• paper towels in colanders to hold the hot corn oil dripping tacos.
• 2 inch+ deep electric frying pan

2. Add the onions, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce and hot sauce on top of the meat before the taco shell hardens and enjoy while figuring out how to position one's head, mouth and taco to avoid losing all the contents.  (Make sure your fingers are clean.  You'll be licking them a lot!)
   

CASCARONES:

"In the movie West of the Pecos (1945) the eggs
are used to throw at the one you love and this
person must dance the next dance with you."

The key aspect I remember is to make sure the object of one's affection (and surrounding witnesses) see the egg just seconds before it's smashed over the head so that its contents appear to be 'for real' sticky egg innerds and not just confetti.

The process of making them requires one tiny hole on one end and another dime/confetti sized hole on the other - one then blows the egg contents out into a bowl for later cooking.  (Experts can blow the contents out without breaking the egg yoke.)
    After thorough drying, the confetti is placed inside and the larger end sealed with plain white paper.  Decorations of the egg seem to be the current fad, but that makes the 'fooling' process more difficult - or makes the recipient think it's just a 'hard boiled' egg being smashed over their head.

Taco Dip:

• 1 pint sour cream
• 8oz cream cheese
• 1 Tbsp Worcester sauce
• 1 Tsp garlic powder or salt
• 1 Tbsp chili powder

  Revise the following proportions according to personal preferences.  Sprinkle the cheddar, first, so that it can marinate atop the base.  Those with an artistic bent can arrange the rest of the vegetables in bullseye, yin-yang, logo or other patterns in overlay fashion.

• 6oz+- shredded cheddar cheese
• 2 cup diced tomatoes
• 2 cup shredded lettuce - finger length
• 1 cup diced onions - Vidalia or sweet white
• diced to taste - you'll notice the difference.

Use locally made, generic corn meal dip chips for the best results.  They are also, usually, the least expensive and come in the largest quantities.  Sam's Club sells the best I've found in Milwaukee & San Antonio.